


fear's got a hold on me

by alexandrawest



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, rivamika, sasha and mikasa friendship, yay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-09
Updated: 2014-12-09
Packaged: 2018-02-28 19:47:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2744864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexandrawest/pseuds/alexandrawest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“We should stop” he mumbled as the young woman placed kisses on his collarbone, traveling down.<br/>“Mikasa, I’m serious” he said, ignoring the ache in his heart.</p>
<p>Love isn't easy, but they sure as hell make it harder than it has to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	fear's got a hold on me

_Cause I was filled with poison_  
 _But blessed with beauty and rage_

 

“We should stop” he mumbled as the young woman placed kisses on his collarbone, traveling down. She, as always, ignored him and continued undressing him. Her hands were cold and small on his toned stomach, raising goose bumps all over him. As she pulled down his boxers, he grabbed her hands tightly, bringing them up to her bare chest. She looked at him, confused, unsure what to think about the sudden turn of events.  
“Mikasa, I’m serious” he said, ignoring the ache in his heart. Her expression changed to hurt, and she took a step back. He looked at her, hating himself for making her feel this way. She bit her lip and shook her head slowly.  
“Why..?” her voice was barely a whisper “I mean, did I do something wrong?” She tried to think of anything that would have resulted in him wanting to break things of, but thought of none. She actually thought things had been going well. They had done this for months, sneaking away from practice just to have sex, and it had in the last weeks developed to something deeper. Something more… real.  
“You know why” he said calmly as he pulled his pants back up. “You’re my subordinate. There are rules against this-“  
“Fuck you!” she spat, anger painted over her face. “Since when have you ever cared about rules?! I thought we had something-” she looked for the right word. It wasn’t love, but something close to it.    “-special”  
Normally she would have been embarrassed that something like that had left her lips, but not now. She felt angry, furious even, of the betrayal.  
“Mikasa, you must understand, there’s ru-“  
“Save it” she muttered. She swiftly grabbed the shirt that was on the floor and pulled it over herself. “I hope following the rules like a dog is worth it”  
She slammed the door shut behind her, hard enough to wake up the whole castle. Levi groaned and sat down on his bed. He knew this was best. He knew it was for the best, but still it hurt so bad.  
“It’s for the best” he whispered out loud to himself. He reminded himself that it was going to be alright in the end. She would find someone else, someone who could give her what she deserved. Someone who wasn’t destined to die in battle. That person wasn’t him.

 

 

 

Mikasa didn’t even notice she was crying until she was alone in the room she shared with Sasha. Tears made their way down her now reddened cheeks. She looked around in the room, hoping she didn’t wake Sasha up. The brunette girl was fast asleep, snoring like a goddamn old man. Mikasa looked at her friend, and felt jealous. She also wanted to be at ease, to sleep with a smile on her face. Instead her nights were filled with nightmares, dreams of friends and family dying all over again. Her relationship with Levi was one of the few things that reminded her that good things also existed in the world. Now, that too, was gone. She laid down on her bed, wrapping herself in her blanket. Another set of tears leaked through her closed eyelids, and she tried to hide a sob. Her chest felt tight, and it was becoming harder and harder not to cry out loud. “Mika?” Sasha’s soft voice startled her, but Mikasa felt too tired to answer. “Mika, why are you crying?” the young woman tried again. Mikasa didn’t answer, and another sob broke through her lips. Before she had any time to protest, Sasha was lying behind her, holding on to her tightly. The friendly gesture only made Mikasa cry harder. Sasha said nothing, she just hugged Mikasa, letting her cry. After a few minutes her sobs stilled.  
“Do you want to talk about it?” Sasha asked her friend. Mikasa shook her head. She was too tired, and talking about it would only make her cry again. For some reason, Sasha understood. She continued to caress Mikasa’s hair, calming her the oriental down. They fell asleep in the same bed, sharing the warmth of Mikasa’s blanket.  


 

 

_tbc_

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this ! The next chapter will be up in a few days xx


End file.
